I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Alive.
So much puke
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I deserve this hangover.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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