dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
