I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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