i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
