the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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