Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
