If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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