You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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