Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
