I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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