this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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