I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hippo gnu deer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
