so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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