I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sarcasm needs its own font
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
