so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
