and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
