i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize