I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
