I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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