Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
