so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
