I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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