just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
