why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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