You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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