Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My balls are so social today.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
did i just pee glitter
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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