If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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