The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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