Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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