1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
