they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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