She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
