found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
