He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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