Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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