Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pappa wants mamma naked
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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