if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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