you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
