I wanna passion pit in your ass
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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