my vag is so smooth its legendary
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
