Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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