yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How naked do you want me to be?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
