when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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