i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just blew my weed a kiss
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Congratulations! We have a period
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
