U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
