you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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