My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
