the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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