You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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