Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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