Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
there's paper in my vomit.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
