Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
