i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
