Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
