Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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