don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize