im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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