all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
