I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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