I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
